Some of the lessons in life we will learn the hard way, by trial and success

 

Some of the lessons in life we will learn the hard way, just the way most humans learn most things—by trial and error. You touch the flame and pretty soon you figure out that the fire is hot. (Some folks heed the warning, some folks just have to urinate on the electric fence for themselves!)

We each will have setbacks in life. You may be rejected, neglected, perhaps drop the ball in the end zone of life. A baby  doesn't fret when he falls, he quickly gets back up and goes on. We all make mistakes and endure failures and the cruel things others may do and say. That’s what other humans do, so don’t be too tough on yourself. Anybody who tells us they’ve had a life filled with nothing but success might be delusional or just trying to sell us an audio program.

Since we’re all going to have setbacks, we can take some risks in life.  Seek what makes you happy and fulfilled.  “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.” Find then follow your passion; do what you enjoy so long as it doesn’t impinge on the rights of others or inflict hurt and pain.  Once you achieve enough financial security to provide for yourself and your family with the basics like food and shelter, there is little connection between increased wealth and more happiness. 

Take responsibility for your own actions and cease blaming others when bad things happen. This also means don't go along with others who want you "to take accountability" or responsibility for what happened in their lives, they're just sociopaths.

Look in the mirror, examine how you can change and what you can do, but you can stop trying to change other people. Accept them for who they are. They can and will make necessary changes in due time, by themselves.

We cannot control everything, including when somebody we love leaves or dies. This can be excruciatingly painful. If unchecked, you may feel helpless. Understand you are not responsible for everything that happens in life. When you truly understand that, it can feel like the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders.

When you have a setback, a loss, a sickness, be it physical or mental, an addiction or whatever, reach out to a friend, or anybody who cares about you. You need not feign appearing strong to the world, this doesn't make you strong. If you are vulnerable, you can share your vulnerability. That’s what friends are for. (They can help in another way if they can't help you out with money. If they won't help at all, they aren't your friend. Especially if you did a whole lot for them at one time.)

Count your blessings: be content with what you have , ... realise there is nothing lacking and the whole world belongs to you. 

Lao Tzu.

©  William Moore 2021, All rights Reserved

 

Counteract Negatives

What I’ve been doing a lot lately is gratitude practice. What we know from brain sciences and Buddhism teachings is you can, in fact, train your brain. Your brain becomes more negative over time because negative experiences stick in our brains.

So you can counteract that.You can ask yourself: What good idea comes out of that recent negative experience, thought or memory? Can you apply that good idea in an even more positive way? If not, as it involves another person, does that person have to deal with it in a karmic way now? 

You can easily counteract the negative experience by being more conscious of things you appreciate, the good things in your life. 

So I just think, What am I grateful for in the broad sense of my life? What am I grateful for in the previous day? What am I looking forward to that I’m going to enjoy in the coming day? 

It’s a good exercise. For a number of years, I was diligent about physical working out. But what I’ve learned in my sort of later years, the last ten, is the importance of what we might call a workout of the mind. It’s that idea of mindfulness, and it needs the same kind of discipline and focus that the physical side needs.

©  William Moore 2021, All rights Reserved

Do your friends audit their own behavior and motives regularly? Do they build support for you into their lives? Do they spend their time wisely enough that you aren’t reluctant to grow yourself for fear of leaving them behind?

At the beginning of the pandemic, when we were told to avoid seeing anyone outside of our nuclear household, people panicked. 

 

Some don’t have nuclear households… Some live alone… Some aren’t friends with their roommates… Some rely heavily on the social and emotional support they’re fed from their stronger relationships, but they don’t live with those people.

 

As time moved forward and it was clear the Covid-19 virus would be sticking around, the scientists in charge allowed us gatherings of up to 10 people and suggested we consider carefully which friends made the cut into our inner circles.

 

That could have been based on any number of things – physical proximity, friendship longevity, lifestyle alignment, immediate family relations, socioeconomic similarities, commensurate social distancing styles, or other considerations.

 

For a lot of people, that was a tough decision. Some took it more seriously than others, even making sure that the people in their inner circles chose their inner circles with the same care and scrutiny.

 

But it certainly forced a lot of people to weigh and measure their relationships in a way that adults don’t regularly do. After a certain age, we don’t give our friendships regular check-ups to take their temperatures.

 

Most of them just… coast forever, and we don’t think about the precious energy we allow to flow into stale, toxic, or draining friendships. Which affects us more than we realize, mainly because “you are the average of the five people with whom you spend the most time."  

 

Put another way, via Dr. David McClelland of Harvard University, the people you’re around the most “determined as much as 95 percent of your success or failure in life.” Or, maybe a little more softly, “it’s not what you know, but who you know that counts.”

 

Of all the reasons to be discerning about your friendships and there are many, the concept that our friendships build an orbit around us, controlling the pushes and pulls of our lives, holds the most water.

 

Let’s not think of our friendships as tools for getting ahead in life, or fast-track tickets to success. Frankly, “success” and “failure” aren’t granular enough to warrant an orbit shift as severe as friendship culling.

 

Instead, decide what constitutes "winning in the game of life"  for you. Then think about where you may be dissatisfied with yourself. How you react, how you support, how you contribute. 

 

How you spend your time, how often you learn new things, how brave or afraid you are when you stand on the precipice of something unfamiliar.

 

Now think about the five people you spend the most time with. We are told we can only get so far alone. We are told that everything in life is easier, faster, and stronger with teamwork. Hence you really should be looking at your inner circle – at and as your teammates.

 

Do your teammates reflect on themselves as critically or supportively as you just did? Do they audit their own behavior and motives regularly? Do they practice what what is preached on Sundays?

 

Do they build support for you into their lives? Do they spend their time wisely enough that you aren’t reluctant to grow yourself for fear of leaving them behind?

 

These are tough questions – none of us are omniscient, and none of us has the full picture of anyone’s lives no matter how well we know them.

 

But that shouldn’t stop you from coming to conclusions based on two empirical pieces of evidence: how they make you feel about your own life, and how you watch them run their own. 

 

You want your team members to share common goals with you, so that “winning” looks similar enough to everyone involved. Without that shared identity, it can be easy to remain in an orbit that doesn’t center around what you want your life to look like.

 

What’s more, it isn’t necessary for you to cruelly sever relationships or grandstand about newly-discovered incompatibility – the fear of that confrontation keeps people locked in undeserving relationships for much longer than they should be there.

 

A gradual easing of time given, coupled with an increased investment in the friendships that do have traits in common with the person you’d like to become, will do perfectly well. 

 

Extra points if you’re not only considering what might be currently bringing you down, but what could eventually lift you up – invest in friendships with people you admire. 

 

Do you have friends you mostly drink with, but the person you want to become consumes less alcohol? 

 

Do you have friends who use recreational drugs and prefer to engage in toxic and consuming romantic relationships, but the person you want to become prefers stability and support? 

 

Do you have friends who aren’t interested in expanding their knowledge and skill set, but the person you want to become is someone curious and forward-thinking? 

 

Not every friendship is created this way, yet you’ll only get to where you want to go if you’ve got the right mates on your team. 

 

While we presently cannot socially engage in the world the way we once did,  do reflect on who you’ve got on your team – and if “winning in the game of life” looks anything to them like it looks to you. Reflect. Apply. Repeat.

 

2020's  a perfect time for perfect visual acuity. 2021's  a perfect time to appreciate what you have and  be grateful for that. Resolve, Apply, Reflect, Repeat.

 

 

 

© Will Moore 2020, 2021 all rights reserved.

 

To Induce States Of Flow

How to Enter The ‘Flow State of Flow’ At Any Time

 4 Simple Steps:

Step 1. Before you begin the activity, pause, then take three deep slow conscious breaths. Let the mind be fully engaged in the breath for that time and nothing else.

Step 2. Focus all of your attention in the present moment. Pretend for the moment that past and future do not exist. Take awareness to your sense perceptions.  Be fully present in the now.

Step 3. Slowly, with deliberate movements, go about your activity. Make it into a meditative practice but with an intensity of focus.

Step 4. Remain alert and keep the mind fully attentive to what you are doing in that moment only not allowing it to slip off into unconscious mind chatter. Be completely absorbed in the activity as if you had just been born into this world. You will find that the activity ‘comes alive’ when you practice it with mindfulness. If your mind does slip off into ‘autopilot’ simply guide it back to being intensely engaged in what your doing.

Here are 14 triggers to induce states of flow.

1. High Consequence
Put yourself at risk of failing. This is not restricted to just physical risks either. Emotional, intellectual, creative, and social risks work just as well.

2. Rich Environment
Create an environment where you’re surrounded by a lot of novelty, unpredictability and complexity.

3. Deep Embodiment
This is all about putting yourself into a multi-sensory immersion. For example, don’t just read about a new idea, but also start putting it into action at the same time.

4. Clear Goals

When you understand exactly what your immediate goal is, your mind does not need to worry about what to do next and your focus naturally tightens.

5. Immediate Feedback
Create a feedback loop that can help improve your performance in real-time. This way your mind is focused in the now and not wondering how to make something better.

6. It's A Challenge
If the challenge far outweighs our skills, fear seeps in. If it’s too easy, we’ll get bored. Find that sweet-spot between anxiety and boredom, and flow will kick in.

7. Familiarity
If you’re working on a team, get everyone on the same page so you can establish a common knowledge base and communication style.

8. Blending Egos
Steve Jobs described  this quite succinctly as, “a collective version of humility” where no one is hogging the spotlight and everyone is involved.

9. Sense of Control
This is all about combining autonomy and mastery. Choose your own challenges and have the necessary skills to surmount them.

10. Close Listening
Be fully present in the now when engaging in conversation. It’s all about allowing organic, real-time responses to unfold.

11. Always Say “Yes, and…”
Make your interaction additive as opposed to argumentative. Build momentum by continually amplifying each other’s ideas and actions.

12. Pattern Recognition
Allow your brain to link new ideas together by tackling problems from completely different (and sometimes outrageous) angles...

13. Taking Risk
Have the courage to bring these new ideas to the world. No matter how improbable you think it’ll succeed.

14. Complete and Utter Faith

Have faith in yourself and that the Universe is on your side, and Strengthen your own Faith in God.

Which of these triggers are you currently using to get into flow?

Abundance is trust 3.9

Abundance Is Trust

What's the big picture here? The big picture is that the perception of scarcity as a threat stems from a lack of trust in life. Trust is the solution. Scarcity is not a threat but  an invitation to wake yourself up and grow in the ways that truly matter. Scarcity can be a powerful focusing mechanisms – it gets your attention.

If focused on money as the answer to problems or as the solution to the perceived threats, you can sink deeper into an abyss... up to the knees if you like. That approach won't work; you'll get the opposite of what you want.

What if you might be self - creating your problems by the way you frame your presence within reality? Why not explore an alternative path of presupposing that reality is 100% on your side, that it has its own consciousness, in a way, and that it actually cares about you  and wants to help you grow?  

Think  of this life as a kind of  training school for consciousness. Maybe we start with an unsculpted baby consciousness, and through our interactions and lessons in this plane of existence our consciousness gets sculpted into something more structured.

Learn to trust it more, that's what helps to  pull us out of scarcity stuckness. Scarcity-based challenges aren't bad per se. They may show up multiple times throughout your life. They lead to stuckness when you resist them. They lead to growth experiences and some amazing character sculpting when you trust them and get yourself aligned with what they're trying to teach you.

Trying to do things for the primary purpose of making money  to have trinkets won't work. That kind of thinking is out of alignment with the purpose of this Life.  

It's like a parent guiding a small child away from something they do or encounter which will be self destructive, and not giving in  to the child's attempts to make an end run around the parent's action. In such situations it's best if the child learns to trust the finality of the parent's decision and that the parent has the child's best interests at heart. 

I've learned that when I maintain the perspective that the Universe has my best interests at heart, I feel centered within a delightful (yet sometime challenging) spiritual path. The types of challenges that show up are good ones, like mastering something, not the kinds of silly challenges that would just beat one down.

When I do things for the love of doing them, and when I understand that the role of money is to help facilitate interesting growth experiences and I treat money as such, then I usually find money flowing and easier to earn money from this perspective.

The Rules Change as You Learn and Grow

I've also noticed that the rules of Life seem to shift, they  don't remain static. They  evolve in terms of what behaviors Life will reward.

When we try to revisit what once worked for us in the past, looking for patterns  and then  repeating those patterns it results in inconsistency and stuckness. If the world were truly objective, then this would work but it doesn't.

Have you noticed a similar pattern in your life – that what used to work no longer works for you, even though it seems like your old success patterns should still be applicable today? Life wants us to keep growing in difference ways. Once we've learned what we needed from one level of experience, it's time to move on. We have more and different character sculpting to do. Continue to follow your path with a big heart.

One pattern I've seen is that life seems to be nudging me down a progression towards being more creative with my income sources, trusting myself more, and aligning these sources with who I am and  my strong points.

In past years all of my income sources were someone else's idea of what needs to be done for them or the client. My latest projects are different in being more creative with how I deliver value and honor my own strengths, it's all clean and fresh. To the surprise of no one,  Life rewards this behavior as it does when one follows a path with a big heart. The point is that when you get the subjective side right, the objective side (earning income money) tends to flow better and perhaps take care of itself.

I had to endure scarcity as a tutor in order to allow reality to mold and sculpt my mindset, my heartfelt thoughts and  images,  my expectations and skills. I had to trust what I felt. I had to trust my own uniqueness.

Manifesting your  abundance may be  elusive at times. When you frame scarcity challenges as threats and resist them, or when you try to cling to money with a sense of neediness, or when you treat money as a power source, you'll probably find that God's Universe, your reality, won't reward that mindset and your behavior.  

So the deeper challenge is to come up with the right framing and the right approach so that you aren't scaring money away all the time and getting yourself stuck. Same goes for other forms of abundance like social abundance, abundance of courage and lifestyle abundance.

Fortunately this does all work, but the solution paths may be counterintuitive for you . It takes a while to wrap our heads around since the solution for many people involves working on one's more powerful abundance heartset more than one's mindset.

Energy Vampires Part Five

Everything is about energy. The way you feel around certain people will tell you if this connection needs to be ceased or not.

As a result of constantly interacting with an energy vampire you might feel chronically fatigued, depressed, anxious, irritable or angry, leaving you feeling so drained that you are incapable of taking care of yourself. You need to understand that you are the guardian of your own energetic space. You need to safeguard your physical, emotional, and mental energy.

Luckily, energy vampires prefer negative energy since it matches their comfort zone. Keeping your energetic level high and maintaining positivity will eventually effectively repel one. Energy vampires think  they want your happiness; it may attract them at first but soon it's too good for them --- so they must abandon it or poison your cheery happiness before it can transform them.

They believe they want to be really alive like you, but they can be lazy and fear effort and would rather consume your life energy than generate their own. 

To live a healthy, happy, and positive life it is vital that you surround yourself with people who promote the same way of living. Having a circle of positive people around you repels energy vampires. They don't like crowds or even small gatherings. Spend as much time as possible with loving, nurturing, supportive, heart - centered people who make you feel safe and secure.

Like attracts like; positive attracts positive, negative attracts negative. 

Set limits with those who sap your energy and drain you, whether it's intentional or not.

Take an inventory of people who give you energy and those who drain you, define their role and importance in your life, then decide whether or not they're worth it. If not, cease  the connection.

To improve your relationships, increase your energy level and enhance the quality of your life.

The Root Cause Part Three

Powerful Reframes for Deeper Trust

What creates stuckness is mostly your framing. What creates flow and abundance is also mostly your framing.

Here are some ways to keep oneself in the flow of abundance:

"This challenge is an invitation to be more creative. This challenge is an invitation to surrender and trust life. This challenge is an opportunity to sculpt my character. The correct solution is never to overwork myself. If I'm stressing out about this, I'm not trusting life enough. Life always lets me take a break when I really need one. This challenge is a loving gift. This life is the greatest adventure I could ever wish for. This is a reminder to appreciate the little things in life.  I remember to be happy, to connect, and to love this life no matter what happens financially. Let me appreciate this next step. Let me go for a walk and appreciate the beauty in everything I see. The challenge is real, but resisting it and stressing over it is optional and unnecessary."

"How could this challenge actually be fun? How can I be more playful about this challenge? If I had to go through another financial collapse like the one that just happened, could I still trust life?  If I lost everything financially, could I still live an amazing life and be happy each day? What's more important to me than money? Ah, yes... so many things... relationships, caring, being of service, writing, speaking, meditating, running, kissing, cuddling, intimacy, deep conversations, vegan stuff or a good steak, better friends than I had, looking up at the moonlight, walks in nature in the city gardens, traveling, reading, learning, growing, doing weird experiments, massages, and a gazillion other things. This is a powerful reminder not to fritter away  another year of my life resisting what is."

"Resistance is feckless, futile, 'even for the Borg Collective, Star Trek fans.'  Life never threatens me; it only invites me to grow. Life is trying to steer me away from the false path, which includes helping me avoid the mistake of treating money as a power source. Money is   form of of energy but not a power source! My creativity is! I need to spend some time doing the simpler things I love." 

"If I felt totally in  abundance right now, what would I do in this next moment? This is a just a test to see if I can keep my vibe up no matter what. So I'll do my level best because that will sculpt my character in a good way. If I believe I'm doing my best and still fail, I have nothing to regret about it since I couldn't have done any better, knowing what I knew at the time. All I can do is learn and grow from it. "

"Am I approaching this from the right heartset (appreciation, gratitude, compassion, unconditional love)? Do I need to express some self-compassion right now? Could this be an invitation to ask for help? Which path through this challenge do I expect life to reward? Which path do I expect life to punish? Money is just energy and a tool for my growth.Trying to make more money for its own sake  may be a dead end and never work out, but money seems to flow into my life when I feel tremendous grace, ease, and lightness,  when I'm doing something much more interesting than chasing or clinging to money. "

" How would my best self approach this? Which choice would my future self be proud of? Which choice would disappoint my future self? Where's the trap in this decision that I need to avoid? Where's the tempting partial match that I'm smart enough to dodge? Money flees from neediness and clinging to money, instead it flows to where there is energy flow and it loves my playfulness and generosity and sharing. My only real option here is to trust life. Resisting this experience is a waste of energy and cannot possibly help, so how can I accept this challenge instead? How can I embrace it? How can I appreciate it? How can I love it?"

"Thank you, God's Universe... for everything... seriously. Sorry I doubted you. Where's the path down which  I just want to cry? Which door am I most afraid to open next? Where am I playing this game too small?  How can I stretch a bit more? If I knew this was a dream world, what would I do differently? If I knew this was a simulation, what would I do differently?"

"How am I co-creating this? How did my own thoughts and beliefs get me here? Instead of worrying about what people might do, can I trust the humans to behave like human beings? If I can never hide my true intentions and  everyone sees right through me, can I simply pause, drop my shields, and ask life for some guidance here?"

"What synchronicities  are directing me now and where? Now if the synchronicities have dried up, how do I bring them back? Ah, yes, find and follow the path with a heart. Does this path  even  have a heart? Do we have to stick a heart into an empty chest cavity?  The Universe is always and forever 100% on my side. Which path would I follow if I knew the Universe would back me up 100%? What path do I keep thinking about and resisting? What would I rather focus on than money? If I lived in the Star Trek universe and money were obsolete, how would I live my life? How can I step closer to that today? How can I make someone else's life better today? My own? 

What could I create or share that may brighten someone's day? Or my own? How can I turn one of my toughest challenges into an insightful gift for someone else?"

"Now I don't need to make it complicated if it doesn't need to be. What bigger challenge am I avoiding by wallowing in a scarcity one? I'm 'way more powerful than fear. Fake Energy Appearing Real!" 

 I am far more powerful than anyone's else's  judgment and criticism or efforts to reduce the value and importance of what I choose to do. Let me pause and tune into the signal of inspiration. Where does it want to go next? What's my best intention here? Where is the path with a heart?"

Okay, hopefully you get the idea. Framing abundance of courage works this way too.

When you frame scarcity and scarcity-based challenges as threats, you'll likely waste about half of your energy resisting those imagined threats. When you expend energy like that, every other problem and challenge seems twice as hard.

Have you noticed how draining and demotivating even little tasks seem when you're in scarcity mode? Even tasks that take very little time like paying a bill or having to repeat  and redo what you just half finished  seem like big deals when you're resisting scarcity.

 When you release that resistance and replace it with trust, everything else gets easier because you're not longer expending  so much energy on your shields.